I am sitting in absolute stillness and God speaking over me…it’s not the thunderous voice that so many describe…instead, it’s a whisper, a whisper that causes my rushing nature to resist the urge to move in the midst of my busyness.
And a voice, barely above a whisper cries out to me,
“have you seen how far I have brought you?”
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Next time we’ll be
Twin stars tied
By mutual gravity
Maybe we’ll love
Like mother and son
Or get old together
Friends in our souls
Will it be your eyes
I’ll come across
A one second stumble
Into a timeless fall
Maybe next time
Means nothing at all
But I’ll dare to dream
Of a world of our own.
If I had to describe how I‘m feeling, I‘d have a difficult time finding the right words. I suppose it‘s like everything is too much. The people around me, the sounds surrounding me, the thoughts inside of my head, the screaming, the whispering, the stares, the walls of my room.
I feel trapped.
I feel like everything is closing in on me, and I‘m having a difficult time trying to breathe, to not feel like these lungs are filled with nothing but sadness that‘s slowly but surely trying to suffocate me. Maybe I need to go away for awhile, but to be honest, changing the location probably wouldn‘t do me any good either. What use would it be to run away if my demons still clung to me like a second skin? What use does fighting have if hopelessness is the only thing that‘s running through my veins?
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Don’t be a part of my world
There is no room for you to share
Conquering it won’t be easy
It’s all a black wall
Guarded by my iron sheild
Nothing can be done in your reach
To invade & crusade
All left here are empty spaces
Filled with soar realities of mankind
Tyranny puking out of their blood
Go away & never look back
It’s already in ruins of fright
I feel as though the world is turning against me. I feel as though I have been betrayed by the people I thought were my friends. I don’t know what to say. People come in and out of my life and I cannot change fate. It’s as though I am not supposed to have any distractions. Relationships are a luxury people like me can’t afford. I’m supposed to be a weapon, not a person. I have to be a soldier, fighting a war that will never end. That is what my life is supposed to be. That is why I’ve been put on this for.
I have to abandon everything that makes me human. I have to abandon my friends, I have to abandon my family, and I have to abandon my life. I have to give into a life of loneliness and solitude. I have to become the savior…
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